Not Yet…

I’ve noticed that in today’s world, social ques are a thing of the past! I had this guy in my office last Saturday. He’s 27 years old, a father of 3 children, 3 different mothers, and married to none. Do what you want with your life! But please don’t brag to me, and then tell me how I’m not doing what I should with mine.

He asked me if I have a man or if I have any children. I replied “Not Yet”. Now while those two words are not more than 6 letters and two syllables , they are particularity profound. “Not Yet” in my case (And I only speak for myself here) does not imply that I don’t want it, haven’t prayed for it, am putting it off, or I’m lazy. In fact it means I desperately want it, I’ve prayed daily for it, I’m in no way shape or form putting it off, and I’m clearly not lazy (even if he doesn’t know that).

It’s been about 2 years since I wrote The last Ms. …. I still wholeheartedly stand behind what I wrote, and honestly don’t need to re-write it. I’ve gone on to develop my relationship with God further. I’ve traveled even more. I’ve held and loved on countless more babies. But Here I was, 2 days before my 34th birthday, and I felt gut punched. I’ve told the story to a couple of people and each time I wish I would’ve smacked that kid upside the head!

Without knowing my age, my history, or ME, he asked me what I was waiting for? Didn’t I know it was harder if I let myself get over 30? Didn’t I want a man or kids? Um I’m waiting for God’s timing, I turn 34 on Monday, and of course I know it’s harder after 30! How insensitive can you possibly be to ask a woman regardless of age these questions. Who the Hell are you? I’ll take the part where he didn’t think I was in my 30s as a compliment. That’s me…look at the glass half full.

Please people! Stop being so insensitive. If a woman doesn’t have children why does this personally offend you (no, not you, the one it actually offended)? I’m not offended when people don’t have children and more specifically when they do!

To lighten the mood I’d like to point out, I’m the proud Nina (God Mother) of 4 beautiful children, and the aunt of 5! My cousins and best friends have some of the most beautiful children out there! I am over the moon happy for all of them!!! I hope you all know this. This unfortunately doesn’t make me less sad for me. It doesn’t make me jealous either. Unless I’ve never heard you say how lucky you are, or how blessed you are. Then I would like to punch you in the throat too. Sorry not sorry.

Ahh. I hate that it got to me. Truly I do. 99% of the time it doesn’t. But I’m human. And I’m just me. So I’m not going to apologize for that.

OK. Rant over. Now whose baby can I play with next?

All my love (because I’m a lover, not a fighter),

Carmen

 

 

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